‘I feel sad seeing class divide enter classrooms so early’: Delhi principal flags an uncomfortable reality

It doesn’t begin in board classes or teenage years, it begins in nursery and primary classrooms where children are still learning how to share crayons and say sorry. But many are also learning something else: Who has more. A Delhi school principal who wishes to stay anonymous says what she’s witnessing today is not just harmless comparison, it’s a subtle but sharp class divide that is shaping children far too early. And it’s playing out in ways that should make adults deeply uncomfortable.

"It starts with the little things. A fancy water bottle, imported stationery, a trolley bag bought from London and these children begin to attract attention. Not just admiration, but a kind of social power," she says. Her teachers report how soon children from less privileged backgrounds gravitate towards those who 'have more'. Inclusion becomes conditional and friendships become transactional. "They try to stay in their good books. Because for them proximity to these kids means access to things, to attention and to grander birthday parties."

One incident still unsettles her. A parent once requested special permission to allow their child’s 'BMW' into the school premises. The reason was that the child had promised her classmates customised Stanley cups as 'birthday treat' and needed help unloading them. "All 34 kids in the class were to get one! I was stunned. I denied the request immediately but what disturbed me more was what followed. The parents wrote to me saying this would have ‘made their child’s day’ because she had made a promise to her friends. Now what do I say to that?"

Soon after, the school issued a circular: birthday treats should not exceed ₹20-30 per child. "I instructed my teacher to float this message every month, if need be every week." It was a small attempt to restore balance and make sure such incidents are not repeated in future.

"This budget, however, is rarely followed. Birthdays are becoming a stage to display wealth. And I see other children shrinking in response or trying harder to please those who have more. That hurts," she shares. The divide doesn’t stop at birthday parties. Teachers have reported primary school children discussing whose family owns which car and deciding who gets the first turn at playtime rides based on that. "Imagine internalising hierarchy at that age. Imagine believing your worth or your turn depends on your family’s car."

The school has tried to intervene with value education sessions, reinforcing ideas of equality, respect and dignity. "But the messaging at home is powerful, often more powerful than anything we can undo in a classroom."

By middle and senior school, the markers change but the divide deepens. Now it’s international holidays versus 'just visiting nani’s house'. "We have had parents come to us saying their children are pressuring them for foreign trips because they fear being mocked in their class,” she says. "These are families struggling to pay school fees. How do they cope with this pressure?"

What’s more worrying, she says, is how easily children begin to equate money with power. And once that belief settles, it shapes how they treat others and themselves.

Yet, there are also children who resist this. "There are students from well-off families who stay quiet, who don’t flaunt, who don’t participate in this comparison. That silence speaks volumes about their upbringing," she notes. Which is why her appeal is direct as well as urgent. "Parents need to pause and ask themselves: what are we teaching our children to value? If a child begins to believe that money defines their identity, we are setting them up for a very hollow sense of self."

"Don’t make your child obsess over brands, holidays or what others have. Teach them kindness, respect, and that learning and character matter far more than possessions." Classrooms, she insists, should be the one place where every child feels equal and somewhere we are failing them on that front.

Stay updated with the latest and breaking news on Times Now. Get latest India News, World News, Business News, Sports News, Viral News and Education News also explore Entertainment News and Lifestyle Tips.